富而不貴是種痛

富是物質的擁有，沒有精神的高貴，永遠成不了貴族。

浙大教授鄭強直言不諱地說：「大家都在嘲笑俄羅斯，但我知道，俄羅斯一定會發達，因為那裡人兩天沒吃飯了餓著肚子還排隊，而我們兩個人還要擠公交車。將來中國即使發達了，你看看開豪車的富翁們，從車窗向外吐痰，扔垃圾，你就知道中國再富裕也沒有強大。」
富二代在中國儼然是一個貶義詞，目中無人，橫行無忌，因為中國富人大多是從改革開放之後開始富起來的，財富積累也才區區三十年，還是鑽了各種空子，所以說中國沒有真正的富人，充其量有些暴發戶。
比爾蓋茨的財產全部捐給社會
二戰期間英國王子愛德華視察貧民窟，他對一貧如洗的老太太說：「請問我可以進來嗎？」
真正的貴族永遠尊敬每一個人，即使對方是不名一文的窮人。
德國某地，一位盲人青年在導盲犬的幫助下來到公交車站，一名站在前面的男子迅速讓開位置，站到了青年的後面，其他人悄無聲息緊隨其後。高峰期的車內滿是乘客，大家瞬間為他騰出一處空間，一位女子拉起坐著的男孩。導盲犬指引主人坐好，這一切男青年都不知曉。
洛杉磯某家有名的餐廳，經常有人點咖啡時多點一杯，服務生就把多點的貼在牆上，這一切似乎已是常規。著裝與咖啡氣氛極不協調的人走進店裡，說牆上的咖啡， 服務員就會恭敬地端上一杯。喝完之後沒有結賬，服務員衹是把牆上的咖啡撕下來。原來這是當地居民對窮人的一種尊敬的表達方式。窮人不必卑躬屈膝降低尊嚴， 就可以享受咖啡的溫暖。
高貴與否不由經濟的差距決定，而在於人的本性。
儲安平在《英國風採錄》中說：「凡是一個真正的貴族紳士，他們都看不起金錢… 英國人以為一個真正的貴族紳士是一個真正高貴的人，正直、不偏私、不畏難、甚至能為了他人而犧牲自己，他不僅僅是一個有榮譽的、而且是一個有良知的人。」
於丹說：「貴氣就是一種慈悲，一種責任，是一種擔當，是對於社會持久的關注，與以富的能力轉化出來的一種效能。」
邵逸夫並非香港最有錢的人，但他是香港富豪中屈指可數的大慈善家。
從 1985年起，他平均每年向內地捐贈 1億多元，用於支持各項社會公益事業。
數十年來，在中國捐獻教學樓 6000餘座，用百度搜索逸夫樓，你會看見密密麻麻的紅點遍布大江南北，逸夫樓遍布中國各地高校。
比爾蓋茨的財產全部捐給社會，他的女兒全身沒有一個明顯的名牌，沒有開豪華跑車，沒有拿奢侈品包包，沒有艷麗的濃妝。
中國的富豪把孩子送到英國貴族學校，但他們發現即使是最好的學校，伊頓中學生活比平民學校還要艱苦，他們不會明白貴族是一種精神而不是物質的享受。
信力健說：「西方所崇拜的貴族精神不是暴發戶精神，它不與平民精神對立，不意味著養尊處優的生活。它以榮譽、責任、勇氣、自律等一系列價值為核心的先鋒精神，真正的貴族一定是富有自制力，一定有強大的精神力量，而這種精神力量需要從小加以培養。」
高貴不是奢侈品加身的包裝，高貴是源自內心的本善擔當。
金錢上的富有永遠彌補不了精神上的貧窮，物質上的富足不能與精神的高貴等同。
富可以是一個數字，但貴的內涵更深，是金錢永遠無法抗衡的豐厚底蘊。
富不貴衹能是土豪，你可以一夜暴富，但是貴氣卻需要三代以上的培養。
孔子說：「富而不驕，莫若富而好禮。」
如今我們不缺土豪，但是我們缺少貴族。
高貴是大庇天下寒士俱歡顏的豪氣與悲憫之懷，高貴是位卑未敢忘憂國的壯志與擔當之志 ，高貴是先天下之憂而憂的責任之心。
精神的財富最能養成性格的高貴。
以貴為美，在不知不覺中營造出和氣的氛圍。
以貴為高，在潛移默化中提升我們的素質。
以貴為尊，在創造了大量物質財富的同時，精神也提升一個境界。
一個心靈高貴的人舉手投足間都會透露出優雅的品質，
一個道德高貴的社會大街小巷都會留露出和諧的溫馨，
一個氣節高貴的民族一定是讓人尊崇膜拜的民族。
別讓富而不貴成為永久的痛。

阿桃的英文教室- English Society

低迷景氣的小費哲學

歐美不比台灣，發小費非常重要，台灣一般就是餐廳會收取10％的服務費，但在歐美，除了超市、加油站等購買商品時，不用付小費，其他只要有「人」的服務，舉凡打掃、餐廳、咖啡店、水電工等（醫院不用），都要給予小費，但小費到底要給多少，一般都是要加發15％的費用（或以上）給服務的人，以表達自己的感謝之意，但如果服務不好怎麼辦？那就不要發，但是會遭白眼，一般就是僅遵15％的規則，這也是為什麼感謝的英文，有一個字為gratitude，表達感謝叫做「show my gratitude」，而小費則和它長得很像，除了「tip」之外，還有「gratuity」（和gratitude很像）也是表達小費的意思。

但小費有沒有上限呢？一般來說，是沒有的，服務得越好，當然小費也可以給得很多。比方說，我口譯時，若專案(project)進行得不錯，也有人會加發總費用的50％，或多給我一兩天的費用來表示肯定與感謝之意，口譯從來就不是個便宜的服務，所以加發的金額算一算也不小，當然，中階的商務人士是不會發這種數目的，他們也是領人家薪水，這種的好康，也要碰到老闆等級的才有。

譯林擷趣／卡特與譯員

1977 年美國總統卡特訪問波蘭，在華沙機場發表演講。有一位叫色摩爾（S. Seymour）的譯員波蘭文很菜，把卡特所說的「desires for the future」（對未來的願望）譯成波蘭文的「lusts for the future」（對未來的色慾）。卡特在演講中提到自己安全到達波蘭，色摩爾竟然譯成「總統離開美國，永不會回去」。
雖然色摩爾和卡特之間沒有過節，但波蘭總統格瑞克（Grierek）卻說了一句話，道出善待譯員的重要性。他說：「有時我必須咬牙切齒，表示憤怒，但是一個人卻不能對女人和譯員無禮。」

【2011/10/01 聯合報】

蔣勳：過得像個人，才能看到美

蔣勳曾說自己是用佈道的心情傳播對美的感動，現在他已經可說是美的宗教家。
近幾年來，蔣勳走遍竹科與各地演講，到場的聽眾們彷彿都期待受到「開釋」，除了在席間對於充滿抑揚頓挫的感性分析頻頻點頭，發問的許多也都是已超乎美學的人生之問。
事 實上，這幾年來，蔣勳談的美，也有很大的變化。他過去比較偏向幫助大家賞析藝術之美，但他在與聽眾愈來愈多的互動中發現，許多上班族的餘暇時間已極度有限 了，刻意附庸風雅地去欣賞音樂會、畫展已經沒有必要，重拾與周遭人的感情，重新找回「像個人樣」的生活方式，才能對美真正有所體會。
本期美學學院專訪蔣勳，分享上班族也可以找回的生活之美。


文／麥立心
2007年5月 Cheers雜誌

幾年來，幾乎所有的竹科企業我都去過了，和企業的人有所接觸後，我才知道我過去有「知識偏執」的狀況，但我並沒有真正認識30歲上下的職場工作人員。

竹科有一家上市公司的員工平均年齡是31.8歲，他們都是最優秀大學畢業的菁英。

在 開始工作的前10年，是人生很重要的階段，但他們卻通常是11點以後才下班。要戀愛，可能沒有時間戀愛；要買房子，就用世俗的固定模式買房子，找一個大家 認為有名的設計師；要結婚，但用很草率的方式結婚。我知道很多工程師經由輔導去娶烏克蘭新娘，他們可能連戀愛的時間、耐心都沒有。

真正的美，作假不得

我原來希望的藝術是能恢復人的品味和人的感覺，但他們接觸了這些東西卻沒有感覺，像有些企業會固定舉辦一些音樂會，但他們卻沒有辦法進入那個世界。所以我現在希望向大家說的是「人的原點」，當我們失去了人的原點，談所有的美都是假的。

我有一個朋友，住在信義路上億元的豪宅，找了日本最有名的設計師來裝潢，但有一次我去他家，發現他住了2年，可是廚房裡所有進口廚具的膠膜都沒撕掉。

他的房子只是一個showroom。可是家不是showroom，家是讓你可以放鬆自在、活得像人的地方，家是因為住在裡面的人有自己的渴望、自己的感覺，才會有自己的風格。

如果主人對這個家沒有意見、對自己的生活沒有看法，只想告訴別人買的是義大利最貴的床，那只是作假給別人看。

你可以在家裡放很多明式家具，很美；你喜歡家裡很空，也很美，但這裡面的難度是你到底要什麼，如果你不知道，你找再有名的建築師設計都是假的，你怎麼樣回來做自己，才是最難的功課。

我自己是住在淡水河邊，當時會在那裡買房子，是因為覺得淡水河口好漂亮，但是我房子的建商卻不知道善用那裡的美景，窗戶建得很小，我在房間裡就覺得好難過。

所以我找了一個學建築的學生，他幫我開了12個窗，而且全部是往外推的推窗，比拉窗更有靠近河邊的感覺，還架出一個小陽台，所以我可以坐在小欄杆上看河，和淡水河只有2公尺的距離。

我也不喜歡隔間，所以設計師幫我用高度界定出3個不同的區域。我家最高的地方是客廳，朋友來的時候坐在最高的地方喝茶；次高的地方是書房，我在那邊看書；再次高的地方是我的餐廳。我覺得這是我的房子、我的家，我是主人，我知道我要什麼。

 在穿著上，我喜歡純棉、純麻，因為我覺得它們很溫暖，材料本身有觸覺上的記憶，在排汗、吸汗的過程也非常舒服。加上我喜歡爬山、喜歡躺在草地上、喜歡在海灘捲起褲腳踩水，我喜歡這樣的生活，所以我就有我服裝的特徵，名牌就不適合我，因為我喜歡自在。

找回人與人之間的感覺

我現在不問工程師有沒有去聽音樂、看展覽，反而是問他們：「你們在這裡工作5年了，有沒有人可以告訴我公司門口那一排是什麼樹？」但很少人能夠回答的出來。

事實上，他們公司門口那排小葉欖仁的葉子漂亮得不得了，綠色會在陽光裡發亮。後來我再去，就有一個員工和我說，「謝謝你告訴我這件事，我現在下班時會先看看小葉欖仁再回家，所以比較不會和太太吵架了。」

他也問我現在5歲的女兒將來該學鋼琴、還是小提琴，但我建議11點下班的他多抱抱女兒，比較重要。因為所有的藝術講的都是人的故事，一個孩子如果不記得父親的體溫，她將來看畫、聽音樂都沒有感動。如果沒有人的記憶，所有藝術對她而言都只是賣弄而已。

我們從年輕開始，就因為工作忙碌，忽略了人與人的感覺，但工作忙碌之餘，你還是一個人，你必須每分每秒提醒自己回來做人的部份。你看到了美，才會覺得這個世界是值得活下去的。如果你看到的只是品牌、只是假的美，你不見得快樂，那反而可能會是你憂鬱症的原因。

找回美的感覺其實很簡單，去觸摸一片葉子，去聞一下在很熱很熱的夏天、下完午後暴雨的氣味，那是都我們有記憶的感覺，那都會引發我們的感觸和感動。

現在美常常成為新的知識、新的壓力，博士可能毫無美感，但一個不識字的美濃農夫卻可以很美，他看得到月光的美、看得到稻浪翻飛的美。美是最大的財富，它不會因為你的學歷而不同，而是因為你人的部份完不完整而不同。

週休二日，回來做自己

現在台灣過週休二日，好像非要全家去吃一個餐廳、到哪裡去看薰衣草、喝咖啡，全部整套，然後全部的人塞車塞到一肚子氣。我們對休閒的定義是滿僵化的，好像一定要別人服務我們才算是休閒。

我自己假日的時候喜歡自己一個人做4菜1湯，因為我覺得做菜好快樂。我也很喜歡在週休二日洗我自己最喜歡的純棉的、純麻的襯衫，絕不丟給洗衣機，因為我覺得觸感好極了。看到它們晾在陽光裡、在風裡飄，白的好漂亮，我的週休二日就很快樂，因為我回來做自己。

在7、8月，民生東路六段有全台北最漂亮的大花紫薇，即使有車可開，那時候我也絕對要走路，這些是讓我最快樂的事，這才是人。如果我們吃得不像人，穿得不像人，生活都失去了人的意義，那談藝術太遙遠。

我談我的生活，並不希望別人學我。每個人是不一樣的，不要隨便相信價格、人云亦云，生活中的美學，應該是不按照別人安排的。每個人應該用自己的生命，去創造自己的生活美學出來。

想離職？別上演「狼來了」

維持穩定的員工狀況，對公司而言很重要，管理階層不希望異動率太高，因為對於所服務的客戶，對方會覺得很辛苦，又要從頭熟悉窗口並培養默契。

文／張詩芸 整理　圖／Cheers資料
2008年12月 Cheers雜誌

對內也是一種困擾，公司要讓新人在最短時間內快速上手，讓他可以處理最基本的客戶服務和日常工作。所以遇到員工提辭職，若無特殊狀況，公司的立場通常都會先挽留。
然而，如果對離職與否老是舉棋不定，不僅自己陷入天人交戰，也會給公司帶來麻煩。從主管的角度來看，如果你對離職問題態度搖擺，會有兩大影響。
第一，你的工作狀態不穩。想離職多半代表對工作或環境失去興趣，就會影響到你產出的品質。而且跟主管互動一段時間後，他從你的工作品質就能感覺你用心多少，當然連帶會懷疑你的工作態度。
再 來，你還會影響到周遭比較友好的同事。像現在MSN使用普遍，同事間的聯絡也愈來愈密切，常常心情馬上反映在MSN暱稱上，引起情緒感染或討論。對我來 說，若只是工作品質的問題，我還可以幫忙修改；但在team甚至跨部門間因為連動效應引發「雙雙離職潮」、「前後離職潮」，這是我最不願意見到的。

反悔的額度最多只有1次

如果你常對工作或公司抱怨，或常將「不做了」、「想離職」掛在嘴邊，不管你工作做得再好，老闆對你的評價都會降低：你是否不夠理性思考？不夠成熟承擔壓力？思慮不夠周密？無論是「說說而已」，或真的考慮走人，如果你接受慰留卻又反悔，惹毛公司的程度就更大了！

一旦提出離職，你就要堅持。我的想法是，反悔只能有1次，對主管來講已是忍耐的極限，不要有第2次、第3次。
如果有人第2次反悔，再挽留對公司來講是錯誤的選擇。第1次慰留時，主管通常會跟他懇談，並針對他的需求調整職務、工作內容，或加薪。那第2次還能再給出多少牛肉？如果根本的問題無法解決，第3次會很快就來了。
而且所有同事也在看你能拿什麼東西給他，甚至會想：「好啊，那下次我也可以提出來，拿到好處再被慰留。」這就會讓公司管理出現問題。

想清楚熱忱消退的原因

所以，解決之道要回歸到你對自我的設定和期許，以及「熱忱」。
一 般來說，熱忱可分為對工作、對公司兩方面。對工作是否能持續熱忱，其實是每個人都會面臨的職場問題。主管通常會樂意做出種種調整，幫助你有新的學習和成長 機會，但自己也要去驅動、去找刺激點和動機。最重要的，就是保持正面積極的思考：「難道我做不出來嗎？」、「如果我對這個客戶做不好，怎麼再去面對其他的 困境？」或者也可以提出休假，重新充電。

而對公司的熱忱，這是公司的擁有者必須去思考的，如何創造一個活躍、動態、好的工作與學習環境。可惜這種層次的革新並非一朝一夕，因此，我認為如果你對這家公司失去熱忱和認同，不需勉強，可以離開。
你必須思考清楚，你的問題出在哪裡，自己和主管是否能真正解決根源。因為一旦隨便提離職又反反覆覆，萬一你最後真的想留下來，公司卻因此對你有了不良印象，想要扭轉，就必須付出雙倍的心力，甚至要待得更久，我想至少要3年以上。
如果最後還是另謀工作，下一家公司來做背景調查時，你的這段「狼來了」歷史，可能就會被列入工作或人格特質穩定性的考量，所以，提離職一定要謹慎。

紅白喜事和聚餐場合決定職場命運

只要進入職場，任何人都會遇到這樣一件事，聚餐。一個案子的結束、迎新送舊等諸多特殊時刻，公司會有各式各樣的聚餐，有時一個月定期搞一次，或者兩個月搞一次。有人說「聚餐是工作之餘的樂趣所在」，每逢工作告一段落，職場人士就會快樂地享受聚餐的樂趣。

但 有些人對此卻表現得十分勉強，他們總會找各種藉口提前離開，或找各種理由乾脆不出席，因為他們認為聚餐是可去可不去的，對他們來講聚餐只不過是一次「玩 樂」的機會。當上司對他們說不要缺席時，他們不以為然：「這有什麼，把分配給我的工作做好不就得了，吃喝玩樂的事情去不去有什麼關係？」

真是這樣嗎？真的沒什麼關係嗎？答案當然是「NO」。有人說聚餐是業務的延續，我認為這句話千真萬確。

說有笑的聚餐為何是業務的延續
當 然，聚餐場合不是工作的地點，那是吃吃飯、喝喝酒、開開玩笑、大聲吵吵鬧鬧的地方，也可以說是打發時間的地方。但為什麼說聚餐是業務的延續呢？因為一起吃 飯、敬酒乾杯的時候，我們相互向對方表達了各種小小的關切之情，找一些共同的話題，找一些情緒上的共鳴。這是白天在辦公室裡所感受不到的親近，隱約中萌發 出一種連結成命運共同體的同志般的感覺。聚餐時也會交流很多關於公司、同事的資訊，容易增進相互理解，以及交換彼此對工作和公司的看法及態度。

而那些不願參加聚餐的人，吃過飯馬上就消失得無影無蹤的人，就不會知道那些公司裡時下流傳的最新消息。一兩次還無妨，經常缺席就會漸漸被他人排斥在外，就算白天工作再得心應手，也不可能打入企業的核心。

父母對子女最大的願望是什麼？共同相處的時間。看看那些苦於跟子女關係不融洽的父母就能知道，他們總擔心跟子女相處時間太短。相處也不是要做什麼特別的事，旨在建立共同的經歷，並從中尋找共同的話題，引起情緒上的共鳴。

我 認識一個人，當他留學美國的兒子放假回家時，由於分開時間太長，他都不知道應該怎樣對待他的兒子，為此十分苦惱。他想找些話題，可是他們之間的共同經歷太 少，讓他不知道要聊些什麼，該怎麼聊。經過一番考慮之後，他決定跟兒子去爬山露營。雖然這個過程並沒有讓父子之間的對話變得更多，但他們在相同的時間裡經 歷了一次相同的體驗，這有助於他們父子關係的恢復。

對於這種現象，教育心理學家稱之為「時間的質量」。雖然時間很短，但是雙方都完全集中精力並製造了共同的經驗和情緒體驗，這就是能打敗「時間的數量」的好方法。

在 工作生活中，聚餐的作用就在於此。在短時間內，處於同一場所的人們，全身心地投入到共同的經歷和情緒，以及共同的話題中去。在這裡，「時間的質量」發生了 作用，它是在人們之間建立持續牢固的紐帶關係的介質。跳過這段時間，就算他們共同工作一整天，相互間也很難建立起如此親密的關係。話題只圍著業務轉，只是 用異樣眼光看對方，心裡想著「那人到底吃什麼了」，這樣的關係，比起一邊說著「昨天喝多了吧」，一邊同時露出笑容相約去喝解酒湯的關係，當然不可同日而 語。所以，就算聚餐看起來只是吃吃喝喝，打打鬧鬧，就算你身體再疲憊，要做的事堆成山，最好還是去參加。只有這樣才能跟同事找到共同話題，增進彼此的共同 體意識和歸屬感。

還有一些活動你絕對不可以缺席，那就是學術研討會。我們公司每年都會舉辦兩次，全體員工去遠離首爾的安靜的地方開學術研 討會。出去並不是為了特別的學習培訓或發布什麼重要事情，只是搞些娛樂活動，一起度過一夜時光，大家可以藉此機會盡情討論、做遊戲、辦些體育活動。但每次 要到學術討論會的日子時，總有幾個人會對此提出異議。

他們反對的理由總是差不多—「都快忙死了，沒什麼事為什麼還要去搞什麼兩天一夜的……」

這話聽起來也沒什麼錯，而且所有人都參加這個活動又花錢又占用工作時間，還可能造成很大浪費。儘管如此，我還是會強行要求所有人必須參加。為什麼？因為學術研討會的效果是非常大的。

有 研究表明，一個人在工作單位中有朋友時，他的離職率非常低。當然無需做特別說明，大家都知道一個公司的離職率越低，其可成長性和可發展性就越高這個道理。 公司的這種集體學術研討會就具有這種效果。它會拉近各部門員工之間生疏的工作關係，使員工間的交流與溝通變得更順暢，提高相互理解度。整個公司的業務效率 自然也就提高了。

回想當年的我，那時還是個小職員，我也曾經逃避參加學術研討會，不僅是學術研討會，任何一種形式的公司活動我都一概不參 加。我總是想：「耽誤時間搞什麼活動啊？有這時間還不如認真工作呢。」但是現在讓我回頭想想，老天爺啊！真是大錯特錯，我那種思考方式和行動真的對自己一 點幫助都沒有。

這種做法肯定對我的職業生活產生了負面影響，說不定還會降低公司對我的人事評價。那時候真是什麼也不懂啊。我現在才明白， 聚餐、學術研討會和公司的各種活動，都是有其存在理由的。不要逃避公司的聚會、部門的活動，這是想找也找不到的寶貴機會，帶動那些不想參加聚餐的同事一起 去吧，積極和同事朋友們打成一片，跟他們一起開懷大笑吧。

from:

什麼樣的人，企業絕不放手：獵頭專家告訴你的職場現實

作者：申鉉滿

出版日期：2010 年08 月 25 日

轉職面臨選擇，先看品牌後看薪水

擁有高學歷，還有著金融領域絢麗經歷的L，和我是舊識，他也為職業抉擇的問題來找過我。當時他面臨兩個選擇，一個是大型金融公司的約聘高層，另一個是培訓公司的副社長。前者職位較低，而後者職位很高不說，對方還表示將全權委託給他，薪水也達到了一個非常不錯的水準。

當他問我哪個比較好的時候，我毫不猶豫地勸他選擇前者。「雖然是約聘，但在那裡擔任高層兩年以後，您的品牌相對於以前會有很大的提高，再次續約的可能性就很大。即使沒有續約，憑藉這個品牌，也能換到一個不錯的地方去。」但是，他猶豫了一段時間後，還是選擇了後者。

後 來，正如我擔心的那樣，遺憾的事情發生了。由於沒有在培訓領域工作的經驗，他在工作中與雇主發生了很多糾紛，不到兩年就被迫辭職了。而最大的問題是他沒有 什麼地方可去，因為所從事的是和原來行業完全不同的工作，使得自己沒有退路可走。在金融業他的個人品牌已經失效，而在培訓業，他的經驗又十分缺乏。

面對職業的選擇，苦惱的人很多。大家分析比較著眾多條件，為了去一個更好的公司而努力，卻不知這個「比較好的公司」具體指的是什麼。大部分人會含糊地說：「工資和待遇不錯不就是好嗎？」好工作指的是什麼？難道就是薪水高、工作條件好嗎？不，大錯特錯。

我們透過了解一個人畢業的學校、工作、職務，然後把它們連繫起來，就能夠勾畫出他的經歷，正是這個經歷決定了他的品牌。這個根據工作建立起來的品牌，是本人再努力也無法改變的，稍不注意就會貶值，貶值很容易但提升起來卻很難。離職和轉行首先要考慮品牌管理的原因就在於此。

兩個實力相當的人，一個去了領先企業，換工作也都選擇大公司、有名的公司，而另一個在規模小、即將倒閉的公司工作。誰會成功？不用問也知道。假使那個去了大公司的人能力上稍微遜色一些，結果可能也是一樣的。決定這一結果的標準是品牌，工作的品牌。

如 果你現在的公司是一個不能造就自身品牌的地方，就請慎重地考慮離職吧，要找到一個能夠提升自己品牌的地方才行啊。如果遇到能夠培養自己品牌的工作，即使再 累再辛苦也是值得的。做的時間越久，品牌價值越高的工作就是好工作；相反，時間越久，品牌價值反而會下降的工作，即使薪資再高也不要去。

大 部分公司的薪水都和品牌水準相當，但也有薪水和品牌不相當的公司。如果是一家與公司規模和業界知名度相比，薪水過高的公司，你在作出選擇之前一定要仔細了 解清楚。為什麼呢？大體上那些公司的品牌很弱，因此只好用高薪來彌補。因為如果連薪水也給得不高，就招聘不到有能力的人才了，所以才用物質進行彌補。如果 錯進這樣的公司，可能就會降低自己的品牌。但如果是品牌不錯的地方，員工的待遇肯定有一定的水準，不會過高也低不到哪裡去。所以，根據所處領域不同，有時 候即使是大企業，給出的薪水也不是很高，有一些領域內大公司的薪水還不如中小企業高。

薪水就是薪水，品牌就是品牌，不要把兩者混為一談， 這樣才能做出正確的判斷。如果二者只能選擇其一，怎麼辦？那就先注重品牌吧！在這個地方工作，自己的品牌價值是否會得到提升？在這裡工作是否能保持自己的 持續性，培養自己的專業性？在這裡工作是否能夠讓自己的個人品牌得到質的飛躍？根據這幾個問題的答案做出正確的判斷吧！如果答案是確實能夠提升自己的品 牌，那麼在一段時間內不要注重工資、福利、待遇等條件，以後這些都會得到補償的。

對於基層人員來說，能力比品牌更重要；但是如果成了主管，品牌就比能力重要得多了。做事的能力檢驗起來很困難，即使做了檢驗，結果差異也不會很大，但是品牌卻很快就能知道。想要成為董事應該具備董事的品牌，想要成為社長就應該具備社長的品牌。

有 時候談到CEO的身價或CEO的個人品牌價值，並不是紙上談兵。在商場上，品牌是資金和技術無可匹敵的資產，在創業時也要盡可能挖掘和創造符合個人品牌的 事業。所以，從現在開始就積極打造個人品牌吧！不要因小失大，因為不捨得放棄眼前很小的利益，而疏忽了品牌的打造，那樣的話日後會錯失更大的回報。

from:

什麼樣的人，企業絕不放手：獵頭專家告訴你的職場現實

作者：申鉉滿

出版日期：2010 年08 月 25 日

Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive

Noah Goldstein’s, Steve Martin’s (no, not that Steve Martin’s) and Robert Cialdini’s Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive is a pop psych book, where a bunch of research in psychology is distilled into one readable volume.
50 scientifically proven ways constitute 50 chapters of the book, longest of which take 7 pages. The authors take the position that persuasion is a science, not art, hence with the right approach anybody can become the master in the skill of persuasion. So, what are the 50 ways?

1. Inconvenience the audience by creating an impression of product scarcity. It’s the famous change from “Call now, the operators are standing by” to “If the line is busy, call again”, that greatly improved the call volume by creating the impression that everybody else is trying to buy the same product.
2. Introduce herd effect in highly personalized form. The hotel sign in the bathroom informed the guests that many prior guests chose to be environmentally friendly by recycling their towels. However, when the message mentioned that majority of the guests who stayed in this specific room chose to be more environmentally conscious and reused their towels, towel recycling jumped 33%, even though the message was largely the same.
3. Ads quoting negative behavior en masse reinforces negative behavior. Petrified Forest National Park A/B tested two versions of a sign imploring people not to steal pieces of petrified forest from the park. One mentioned large amounts of petrified forest taken away on an annual basis, the other one simply asked the visitors not to remove petrified wood. The first one actually tripled the theft ratio as it showed stealing petrified wood as something commonplace. Same effect was observed after airing an ad that implored women to vote, but mentioned that 22 million single women did not vote last year. That kind of information actually portrays not voting as more socially acceptable.
4. Avoiding magnetic middle. A California survey measured energy usage of a neighborhood on a week-by-week basis. When the average electricity consumption for the neighborhood was calculated, researchers sent thank-you cards to those using the energy conservatively, and a nice reminder to perhaps conserve to those who used electricity liberally. Net effect? While the liberals tried to cut down on unnecessary energy usage, the conservatives, finding out they’re way below average, suddenly became way more liberal with their energy usage, which actually increased the amount of energy used by the neighborhood. Proposed solution that worked? Sending a smiley face card to conservatives with a request to keep doing what they were doing, instead of pointing out they were at the right end of the bell curve.
5. Too many options necessitate selection, and hence frustration, when brain decides it’s unnecessary work. The example here is given by a company that manages retirement funds for other companies, and hence has access to retirement information of 800,000 employees. When employees were offered a choice of 2 funds, roughly 75% signed up for a retirement program. When the number of funds was increased to 59%, even though qualitatively this was a better deal for employees, only 60% decided to sign up. When Head & Shoulders brand killed off 11 flavors of the shampoo, leaving only 15 on the market, the sales rose 10%.
6. Giving away the product makes it less desirable. Researchers gave one group of people a picture of a pearl bracelet and asked to evaluate its desirability. Another group of people was given the same task, but prior to that was shown an ad, where the same bracelet was given away for free, if you bought a bottle of expensive liqueur. The second group considered the bracelet much less desirable, since mentally a lot of potential buyers (35% of them to be exact) shuffled the bracelet onto “trinkets they give away for free” shelf in their brain.
7. A more expensive product makes the old version look like a value buy. An example here is a Williams-Sonoma bread maker. After an introduction of a newer, better, and pricier version, the sales of the old unit actually increased, as couples viewed the new item as “top of the line”, but old product was all of a sudden reasonably-priced, even though a bunch of features were missing.
8. If a call to action is motivated by fear, people will block it, unless call to action has specific steps. A group of people received a pamphlet describing the dangers of tetanus infection. It didn’t describe much else. The second group of people got a description of tetanus infection, plus a set of instructions on how to get vaccinated. The second group exhibited much higher sign-up rate for tetanus vaccination than the first one, where many participants tried to block out the high-fear message urging that something as rare as tetanus would never happen to them.
9. A small gift makes people want to reciprocate. People who received a small no-strings-attached gift from a stranger were twice as likely to buy raffle tickets from him than those who were just pitched on raffle tickets.
10. Hand-written Post-It note improves response rate on inter-office letters. Researchers distributed three sets of questionnaires around the office. The first set included a hand-written Post-It note requesting completion of the survey. The second set got the same survey, with the request to return it hand-written on Page 1. Third group got the same survey with their name mentioned (in type) on page 1 of the survey. Response rates? 75%, 48%, 36%. People appreciated personalized approach, and somehow a Post-It note even highlighted the extra work that someone did before sending out the survey.
11. How restaurant mints are a personalized affair. Let’s a say a restaurant provides mints for its customers on the way out. If the amount of tips per week is the baseline for that restaurant, let’s make the waiters include a mint as they give the check to the customer. The tips go up by 3.3%. However, when the waiters offer the mints themselves, prior to signing the check, the tipping amount went up by 14.1%. In yet another experiment, the waiter would present the patrons with 1 mint per guest, then give them the check, then turning around to leave, then, as if remembering something sudden, turning around and giving them yet another mint per guest. Result? 23% increase in tips, as this signaled high amount of personalization.
12. Attaching no strings increases response to the message. Using the same hotel as the one mentioned in Chapter 2, researchers tried out two different versions of the sign. The first one: if you reuse the towels, a donation will be made to a nonprofit environmental organization.  The second version: the donation has already been made, since the hotel trusted you’d reuse the towels anyways. Recipients of the second message reused their towels 45% more than the recipients of the first one.
13. As time goes by, the value of a favor increases in the eyes of the favor-giver, and decreases in the eyes of the favor-receiver. Researchers asked a group of people in the random office environment to exchange favors and then rate the value of the given/received favor in their eyes. A few weeks later the same employees were reminded of the favor, and asked to evaluate the favor again. Favor-givers consistently assigned higher value to a given favor, while as the time passed by, favor-receivers tended to assign lower value to the received favor.
14. Asking for small favors changes self-perception, introducing ways for big favors. Researchers asked a group of homeowners to place a large “Drive Carefully” sign on their front lawn. Only 17% agreed. With the second group of homeowners, 76% of people were ok with road traffic people maintaining the sign on their beautiful lawns. What was the difference between two groups? A few weeks earlier group B was asked to display a small non-intrusive window sign asking drivers to slow down. This mental foot-in-the-door technique made homeowners from the group B view themselves as socially responsible and safety-aware, hence a request for a larger favor few weeks later didn’t startle them.
15. Labeling people into a social group tends to increase their participation ratio. A group of people was interviewed regarding their voting patterns. Half of them were told that based on their response criteria, they were very likely to vote, since they were deemed to be more politically active. Later on the election day that specific half did indeed turn up a participation rate that was 15% higher than participation of the control group.
16. Asking people to substantiate their decision will lead to higher commitment rate on that decision. Researchers called a group of people asking them how likely they were to vote in an upcoming election. Those who responded positively were either asked nothing, or asked why they felt they would vote. Any reason would suffice, but when the election day came, the turnout for the control group (who all responded “Yes” to the question of whether they were going to vote) was 61.5%. Turnout for the group that actually gave a reason (any reason)? 86.7%. A restaurant stopped telling customers “Please call to cancel your reservation” and started asking “Will you call and let us know if you need to cancel?” Net result? Number of reservation no-shows dropped from 30% to 10%.
17. Writing things down improves commitment. Group A was asked to volunteer on AIDS awareness program at local schools, and was asked to commit verbally. Group B was asked for the same kind of volunteer project, but was given a simple form to fill in. 17% of volunteers from Group A actually showed up to their assigned local school. From Group B 49% of volunteers showed up.
18. The fact that circumstances changed allows people to change their viewpoints without being viewed as inconsistent. People are generally not thrilled to change their viewpoints on something, as they fear they will display lack of consistency and be called a flip-flopper. Convincing people that their old decision (to stick with the old product) was completely 100% correct under old circumstances allows them to be more responsive to the messages that imply a new product/idea is better because the circumstances radically changed since then.
19. Sometimes asking people for help makes them more open. Group A was given some bogus research that included a sum of prize money. After the experiment, the researcher approached them and asked whether it wouldn’t be inconvenient if they had to give the money back, since the researcher was using his own money. Group B was not approached with such request after their portion of bogus experiment was done, and was allowed to keep the money. After this both groups were asked to rate their impression of the researcher. Even though it was the first group who didn’t get to keep any money, all of them consistently rated the researcher higher on likability scale.
20. Asking for little goes a long way. Researchers went door-to-door asking for American Cancer Society donations. Group A just asked for a donation, group B ended their spiel with “even a penny would help”. Results? 28.6% response rate for Group A vs. 50% response for Group B.
21. Lower starting prices attract higher bids. This is a reference to a study of eBay items where people consistently bid items with a lower starting price higher. The explanation seems to focus on the fact that people invest more time into updating bids for a lower-priced item to let it go.
22. How to impress a potential customer with credentials without being labeled as a show-off? Public speakers have someone else introduce them, a real estate company made a slight improvements to their phone service by directing people to “Jane, who has 10 years of experience with houses in upper price range”, and physicians display their diplomas on the walls.
23. The danger of being the smartest person in the room. The expert card frequently trumps any other card in the room. The example here is that the scientists who discovered the double-helix of the DNA were never prime DNA experts, which made them “hungrier” for new discoveries, and made them question established rules.
24. Devil’s advocate example works with large organizations. Leaders who consistently seek out dissenting opinions earn more respect, and generally have better agreement with people in the room than those who rule by laying down the law and persecuting dissenters.
25. Negative examples are memorized better than positive examples. When one group of firefighters went through the list of real-life mistakes other firefighters have made, and another group just went through the list of positive things to do, the first group demonstrated better judgment when faced with real-life tests. Our brain seems to discount the best practices, but single out bad examples of someone else making a mistake.
26. Admitting negatives up-front might lead to better communication. When Progressive says that they will compare your rate against their competitors’, and when original VW Bug was introduced in the US, both companies pursued a strategy of highlighting the negative stuff only to open conversation about the true values their product has to offer.
27. Spinning negative facts as positive allows customers to make a mental link towards the positive. Among the viewers who viewed an ad advertising restaurant’s cozy atmosphere, an ad advertising the restaurant and lack of parking spaces, and an ad mentioning both, the third group made a connection between cozy atmosphere and bad parking situation. The restaurant was so cozy, the customers reasoned, that they didn’t even have enough parking spots, which made them even cozier in the eyes of a customer.
28. Admitting you’re wrong makes people trust you more. Company A published an investors relations report, contributing slump in sales to overall economic climate. Company B said slump of sales was relevant to a few bad decisions by top management. Net result? Investors viewed company B more positively. You’d think that they’d be viewed as a bunch of screw-ups, but admission of a mistake made investors more confident the situation was under control, while company A investors got the uneasy feeling of the ship floating in the waters with captain losing control.
29. Similarities raise the response rate. A person named Cindy Johnson received a survey request by mail from someone named Cynthia Johannson. Someone named John Smith received a survey from Gregory Jordan. The name similarity in the first case (note that it’s just phonetic similarity, none of the names are the same) brought up the response rate to 56% vs. regular 30%.
30. People like the sound of their name, and that defines their vocation. There are three times as many dentists named Dennis as any other names. Number of Florences living in Florida is disproportionately high, same goes for Louises living in Louisiana.
31. Verbalization helps interaction. Waiters who repeat customers’ order to them make 70% more in tips than waiters who just say “Okay”. Our mind subconsciously appreciates the effort taken to ensure the things are perfectly right.
32. Just smiling makes for a poorer customer service. Group A was exposed to a hotel clerk smiling, while peppering the customer with questions regarding their preferences and ways to improve their hotel stay. Group B had just a smiling clerk performing her duties. Group B was more likely to rate the smile as fake.
33. People pay more for the stuff that’s about to disappear. Oldsmobile sales rose after GM announced the end of life for the line. Australian beef purchases rose after customers learned this year’s supply would be severely diminished because of the weather conditions. Concorde sales took off right after British Airways announced the hyper-speed flights would be shut down.
34. When people feel something is about to go away, they will stick to perception of the product being better than the new one. In majority of blind tests customers chose New Coke over Classic Coke. Yet when New Coke was introduced, massive protests were staged. When the same drink was packaged into Classic Coke and New Coke bottles, customers still claimed they preferred the Classic Coke and could taste the difference, even though labeling was the only thing that differed two drinks.
35. “Because” makes any explanation rational. In a line to Kinko’s copy machine a researcher asked to jump the line by presenting a reason “Can I jump the line, because I am in a rush?” 94% of people complied. Good reason, right? Okay, let’s change the reason. “Can I jump the line because I need to make copies?” Excuse me? That’s why everybody is in the line to begin with. Yet 93% of people complied. A request without “because” in it (“Can I jump the line, please?”) generated 24% compliance.
36. Asking people to choose reasons themselves might backfire. Two groups were given an ad by BMW. Group A saw an ad saying “So many reasons to buy a BMW. Can you name 10?” Group B saw an ad saying “So many reasons to buy a BMW. Can you name 1?” After the ad both groups were asked to evaluate their likelihood of buying a BMW. Similar to what’s described in Chapter 5, people who had to name 10 reasons actually named Mercedes-Benz, a competitive brand, as their probable choice, while Group B named BMW as their likely next vehicle, compared to Mercedes-Benz.
37. People like stocks with more pronounceable names. Research of stock tickers between 1999 and 2004 looked at the relationship between the phonetic fluency of the stock and its rise through IPO, then 12 months later, then throughout its lifetime. The result? Stocks with more pronounceable names produced higher returns, even though nobody yells out the tickers on the exchange floor anymore.
38. Rhyming makes the phrases more convincing. People were asked to evaluate the practical value of parables “Caution and measure will win you treasure” and “Caution and measure will win you riches”. In general proverb A was considered to be more practical and insightful than proverb B.
39. Amount of information is context-dependent. A group of people was given an ad for department store A, extolling in great detail the 6 departments that A had. Another group was given a short blurb on store A, presenting mainly abstract information. After that store B was presented to both groups with information on 3 departments given to both groups. The first group thought they preferred A, since A volunteered more information and B seemed shadier in comparison. The second group did exactly the opposite and preferred store B, which volunteered detailed info on 3 departments, while A’s message was an abstract blurb.
40. Incentive programs need a good start. A car-wash place gave one group of customers a free car wash after 8 washes, and everybody got their first stamp after their visit. Group B got a free car wash after 10 car washes, with 3 stamps on the card. Both groups needed to make 7 more trips to get a free wash. 19% of the Group A returned, while 34% of the Group B did.
41. Abstract names allow the customers to come up with reasoning. Crayola found out that naming colors Cornflower Yellow and Kermit Green worked better than no adjectives attached to colors. The more abstract the connection, the better it seemed to work, as people spent mental time working out the connection between the abstraction and the product in their mind.
42. Ad campaigns that do not incorporate brands tend to not be remembered. A good portion of people when asked which company was represented by a bunny and the phrase “going, going, and going” named Duracell as the advertiser. Duracell sales increased with the launch of Energizer Bunny campaign.
43. Mirrors make people more self-conscious. A group of trick-or-treating kids was told to pick up one candy from the jar in the living room, while the adult was in a different room on some pretense. Group A had a large mirror placed by the candy jar, group B did not have the mirror. 8.9% of kids with the mirror in the room and 33.7% of the kids with no mirror treated themselves to extra candy. Another group of people was brought in for what was advertised as gel research, and was given a hand paper towel to wipe the gel off while heading for the exit. With the mirror in the hallway, 24% of participants littered, dropping the towel on their way out, with no mirror, 46% threw the paper towel on the floor without bothering to find a trash can.
44. Negative emotions make people pay more. Group A was exposed to an emotional movie about the death of someone close to the main character. Group B saw no such movie. Both groups were asked then to name a fair price at which they’d buy the object presented to them. Group A tended to give prices 30% above Group B’s.
45. Tired people tend to be more receptive to arguments. No wonder those magic bullet infomercials run so late at night. Both groups were presented to product demo, and then asked to evaluate the possibility of buying it. Group A was tired and a bit sleep-deprived, group B was in good physical condition. Group A was much more prone to buy.
46. Caffeine increases the argumentativeness of a strong argument. Group A drank regular orange juice, group B drank orange juice infused with caffeine. Both groups were then presented with a statement on controversial issue. Except one statement then made weak and hasty arguments, while the second statement made a strong case. Both groups equally dismissed the weak argument case. As far as strongly argumentative case, group B was 30% more receptive. A faster-working brain under the influence of caffeine seems to appreciate good arguments.
47. Face time still beats e-mail time. Group A was given time to get to know one another in person, then resolve a conflict via e-mail. Group B got a similar task, except no face-to-face communications. 6% of the Group As failed to come up at a good resolution, while 29% of Group Bs arrived at impasse.
48. Individualism is perceived differently in many countries. In US and Western Europe a chewing gum campaign that accentuated “you, only better” seemed to get more success, than a similar campaign in Eastern Europe and Asia, with much more collectivism built into the culture. In those countries, emphasizing that chewing gum was much more tolerable for other people who can smell your breath, was perceived better.
49. Notion of commitment among various cultures differ. A group of American students was asked to complete a short marketing survey. A few weeks later they got invited for the second survey, which was going to take twice as long. No pay for either survey. The same experiment was conducted among Asian students. The response rates among American students was 22%, response rate among Asian students was 10%. Research suggests that while American students relied only on their own experience, Asian students found out that few of their peers responded to the first request to complete the survey, which triggered their negative response.
50. Response to voice mail differs among Americans and Japanese. When faced with a voicemail message, 50% of Americans, and 85% of Japanese hang up. Respondents from Japanese test group pointed out the personal touch of the conversation (intonation, pauses, volume) was important to them and impossible to reproduce over voicemail.

If you liked reading review of this book, check out my review of Predictably Irrational, which is written by a psychology professor and explores the topic of human irrationality in our perfectly rational world.

from:
http://www.moskalyuk.com/blog/yes-50-scientifically-proven-ways-to-be-persuasive/1624/trackback

父後七日（得獎散文）

轉自劉梓潔的部落格
http://blog.chinatimes.com/essayliu/archive/2006/12/25/138703.html?page=2#FeedBack
感動的話，記得去買書喔！



今嘛你的身軀攏總好了，無傷無痕，無病無煞，親像少年時欲去打拼。



葬儀社的土公仔虔敬地，對你深深地鞠了一個躬。



這是第一日。



我們到的時候，那些插到你身體的管子和儀器已經都拔掉了。僅留你左邊鼻孔拉出的一條管子，與一只虛妄的兩公升保特瓶連結，名義上說，留著一口氣，回到家裡了。



那是你以前最愛講的一個冷笑話，不是嗎？



聽到救護車的鳴笛，要分辨一下啊，有一種是有醫～有醫～，那就要趕快讓路；如果是無醫～無醫～，那就不用讓了。一干親戚朋友被你逗得哈哈大笑的時候，往往只有我敢挑戰你：如果是無醫，幹嘛還要坐救護車？！



要送回家啊！



你說。



所以，我們與你一起坐上救護車，回家。



名義上說，子女有送你最後一程了。



上車後，救護車司機平板的聲音問：小姐你家是拜佛祖還是信耶穌的？我會意不過來，司機更直白一點：你家有沒有拿香拜拜啦？我僵硬點頭。司機倏地把一張卡帶翻面推進音響，南無阿彌陀佛南無阿彌陀佛南無阿彌陀佛南無阿彌陀佛。



那另一面是什麼？難道哈利路亞哈利路亞哈利路亞哈利路亞？！我知道我人生最最荒謬的一趟旅程已經啟動。



（無醫～無醫～）



我忍不住，好想把我看到的告訴你。男護士正規律地一張一縮壓著保特瓶，你的偽呼吸。相對於前面六天你受的各種複雜又專業的治療，這一最後步驟的名稱，可能顯得平易近人許多。



這叫做，最後一口氣。



到家。荒謬之旅的導遊旗子交棒給葬儀社、土公仔、道士，以及左鄰右舍。（有人斥責，怎不趕快說，爸我們到家了。我們說，爸我們到家了。）



男護士取出工具，抬手看錶，來！大家對一下時喔，十七點三十五分好不好？



好不好？我們能說什麼？



好。我們說好。我們竟然說好。



虛無到底了，我以為最後一口氣只是用透氣膠帶黏個樣子。沒想到拉出好長好長的管子，還得劃破身體抽出來，男護士對你說，大哥忍一下喔，幫你縫一下。最後一道傷口，在左邊喉頭下方。



（無傷無痕。）



我無畏地注視那條管子，它的末端曾經直通你的肺。我看見它，纏滿濃黃濁綠的痰。



（無病無煞。）



跪落！葬儀社的土公仔說。



我們跪落，所以我能清楚地看到你了。你穿西裝打領帶戴白手套與官帽。（其實好帥，稍晚蹲在你腳邊燒腳尾錢時我忍不住跟我妹說。）



腳尾錢，入殮之前不能斷，我們試驗了各種排列方式，有了心得，折成L形，搭成橋狀，最能延燒。我們也很有效率地訂出守夜三班制，我妹，十二點到兩點，我哥兩點到四點。我，四點到天亮。



鄉紳耆老組成的擇日小組，說：第三日入殮，第七日火化。



半夜，葬儀社部隊送來冰庫，壓縮機隆隆作響，跳電好幾次。每跳一次我心臟就緊一次。



半夜，前來弔唁的親友紛紛離去。你的菸友，阿彬叔叔，點了一根菸，插在你照片前面的香爐裡，然後自己點了一根菸，默默抽完。兩管幽微的紅光，在檀香裊裊中明滅。好久沒跟你爸抽菸了，反正你爸無禁無忌，阿彬叔叔說。是啊，我看著白色菸蒂無禁無忌矗立在香灰之中，心想，那正是你希望。







第二日。我的第一件工作，校稿。



葬儀社部隊送來快速雷射複印的訃聞。我校對你的生卒年月日，校對你的護喪妻孝男孝女胞弟胞妹孝姪孝甥的名字你的族繁不及備載。



我們這些名字被打在同一版面的天兵天將，倉促成軍，要布鞋沒布鞋，要長褲沒長褲，要黑衣服沒黑衣服。（例如我就穿著在家習慣穿的短褲拖鞋，校稿。）來往親友好有意見，有人說，要不要團體訂購黑色運動服？怎麼了？！這樣比較有家族向心力嗎？



如果是你，你一定說，不用啦。你一向穿圓領衫或白背心，有次回家卻看到你大熱天穿長袖襯衫，忍不住虧你，怎麼老了才變得稱頭？你捲起袖子，手臂上埋了兩條管子。一條把血送出去，一條把血輸回來。



開始洗腎了。你說。



第二件工作，指板。迎棺。乞水。土公仔交代，迎棺去時不能哭，回來要哭。這些照劇本上演的片場指令，未來幾日不斷出現，我知道好多事不是我能決定的了，就連，哭與不哭。總有人在旁邊說，今嘛毋駛哭，或者，今嘛卡緊哭。我和我妹常面面相覷，滿臉疑惑，今嘛，是欲哭還是不哭？（唉個兩聲哭個意思就好啦，旁邊又有人這麼說。）



有時候我才刷牙洗臉完，或者放下飯碗，聽到擊鼓奏樂，道士的麥克風發出尖銳的咿呀一聲，查某囝來哭！如導演喊action！我這臨時演員便手忙腳亂披上白麻布甘頭，直奔向前，連爬帶跪。



神奇的是，果然每一次我都哭得出來。







第三日，清晨五點半，入殮。葬儀社部隊帶來好幾落衛生紙，打開，以不計成本之姿一疊一疊厚厚地鋪在棺材裡面。土公仔說，快說，爸給你鋪得軟軟你卡好睏哦。我們說，爸給你鋪得軟軟你卡好睏哦。（吸屍水的吧？！我們都想到了這個常識但是沒有人敢說出來。）



子孫富貴大發財哦。有哦。子孫代代出狀元哦。有哦。子孫代代做大官哦。有哦。唸過了這些，終於來到，最後一面。



我看見你的最後一面，是什麼時候？如果是你能吃能說能笑，那應該是倒數一個月，爺爺生日的聚餐。那麼，你跟我說的最後一句話是什麼？無從追考了。



如果是你還有生命跡象，但是無法自行呼吸，那應該是倒數一日。在加護病房，你插了管，已經不能說話；你意識模糊，睜眼都很困難；你的兩隻手被套在廉價隔熱墊手套裡，兩隻花色還不一樣，綁在病床邊欄上。



攏無留一句話啦！你的護喪妻，我媽，最最看不開的一件事，一說就要氣到哭。



你有生之年最後一句話，由加護病房的護士記錄下來。插管前，你跟護士說，小姐不要給我喝牛奶哦，我急著出門身上沒帶錢。你的妹妹說好心疼，到了最後都還這麼客氣這麼節儉。



你的弟弟說，大哥是在虧護士啦。







第四日到第六日。誦經如上課，每五十分鐘，休息十分鐘，早上七點到晚上六點。這些拿香起起跪跪的動作，都沒有以下工作來得累。



首先是告別式場的照片，葬儀社陳設組說，現在大家都喜歡生活化，挑一張你爸的生活照吧。我與我哥挑了一張，你翹著二郎腿，怡然自得貌，大圖輸出。一放，有人說那天好多你的長輩要來，太不莊重。於是，我們用繪圖軟體把腿修掉，再放上去。又有人說，眼睛笑得瞇瞇，不正式，應該要炯炯有神。怎麼辦？！我們找到你的身份證照，裁下頭，貼過去，終算皆大歡喜。（大家圍著我哥的筆記型電腦，直嘖嘖稱奇：今嘛電腦蓋厲害。）



接著是整趟旅程的最高潮。親友送來當作門面的一層樓高的兩柱罐頭塔。每柱由九百罐舒跑維他露P與阿薩姆奶茶砌成，既是門面，就該高聳矗立在豔陽下。結果曬到爆，黏膩汁液流滿地，綠頭蒼蠅率隊佔領。有人說，不行這樣爆下去，趕快推進雨棚裡，遂令你的護喪妻孝男孝女胞弟胞妹孝姪孝甥來，搬柱子。每移一步，就砸下來幾罐，終於移到大家護頭逃命。



尚有一項艱難至極的工作，名曰公關。你龐大的姑姑阿姨團，動不動冷不防撲進來一個，呼天搶地，不撩撥起你的反服母及護喪妻的情緒不罷休。每個都要又拉又勸，最終將她們撫慰完成一律納編到折蓮花組。



神奇的是，一摸到那黃色的糙紙，果然她們就變得好平靜。



三班制輪班的最後一夜。我妹當班。我哥與我躺在躺了好多天的草席上。（孝男孝女不能睡床。）



我說，哥，我終於體會到一句成語了。以前都聽人家說，累嘎欲靠北，原來靠北真的是這麼累的事。



我哥抱著肚子邊笑邊滾，不敢出聲，笑了好久好久，他才停住，說：幹，你真的很靠北。







第七日。送葬隊伍啟動。我只知道，你這一天會回來。不管三拜九叩、立委致詞、家祭公祭、扶棺護柩，（棺木抬出來，葬儀社部隊發給你爸一根棍子，要敲打棺木，斥你不孝。我看見你的老爸爸往天空比劃一下，丟掉棍子，大慟。）一有機會，我就張目尋找。



你在哪裡？我不禁要問。



你是我多天下來張著黑傘護衛的亡靈亡魂？（長女負責撐傘。）還是現在一直在告別式場盤旋的那隻紋白蝶？或是根本就只是躺在棺材裡正一點一點腐爛屍水正一滴一滴滲入衛生紙滲入木板？



火化場，宛如各路天兵天將大會師。領了號碼牌，領了便當，便是等待。我們看著其他荒謬兵團，將他們親人的遺體和棺木送入焚化爐，然後高分貝狂喊：火來啊，緊走！火來啊，緊走！



我們的道士說，那樣是不對的，那只會使你爸更慌亂更害怕。等一下要說：爸，火來啊，你免驚惶，隨佛去。



我們說，爸，火來啊，你免驚惶，隨佛去。







第八日。我們非常努力地把屋子恢復原狀，甚至風習中說要移位的床，我們都只是抽掉涼席換上床包。



有人提議說，去你最愛去的那家牛排簡餐狂吃肉（我們已經七天沒吃肉）。有人提議去唱好樂迪。但最終，我們買了一份蘋果日報與一份壹週刊。各臥一角沙發，翻看了一日，邊看邊討論哪裡好吃好玩好腥羶。


 我們打算更輕盈一點，便合資簽起六合彩。08。16。17。35。41。


 農曆八月十六日，十七點三十五分，你斷氣。四十一，是送到火化場時，你排隊的號碼。



（那一日有整整八十具在排。）


開獎了，17、 35 中了，你斷氣的時間。賭資六百元（你的反服父、護喪妻、胞妹、孝男、兩個孝女共計六人每人出一百），彩金共計四千五百多元，平分。組頭阿叔當天就把錢用紅包袋裝好送來了。他說，台號特別號是53咧。大家拍大腿懊悔，怎沒想到要簽？！可能，潛意識裡，五十三，對我們還是太難接受的數字，我們太不願意再記起，你走的時候，只是五十三歲。



我帶著我的那一份彩金，從此脫隊，回到我自己的城市。



有時候我希望它更輕更輕。不只輕盈最好是輕浮。輕浮到我和幾個好久不見的大學死黨終於在搖滾樂震天價響的酒吧相遇我就著半昏茫的酒意把頭靠在他們其中一人的肩膀上往外吐出菸圈順便好像只是想到什麼的告訴他們。



欸，忘了跟你們說，我爸掛了。



他們之中可能有幾個人來過家裡玩，吃過你買回來的小吃名產。所以會有人彈起來又驚訝又心疼地跟我說你怎麼都不說我們都不知道？



我會告訴他們，沒關係，我也經常忘記。



是的。我經常忘記。



於是它又經常不知不覺地變得很重。重到父後某月某日，我坐在香港飛往東京的班機上，看著空服員推著免稅菸酒走過，下意識提醒自己，回到台灣入境前記得給你買一條黃長壽。



這個半秒鐘的念頭，讓我足足哭了一個半小時。直到繫緊安全帶的燈亮起，直到機長室廣播響起，傳出的聲音，彷彿是你。



你說：請收拾好您的情緒，我們即將降落。





（第二屆林榮三文學獎 散文獎首獎 20061225自由副刊）

英文的 " I " 在中文怎麼翻譯？

有一個老外，為了學好漢語，不遠萬里，來到中國，拜師於一位國學教授門下。第一天老外想挑一個簡單詞彙學習，便向老師請教英語〝Ｉ〞在漢語中應該如何說。


老師解釋道：中國是一個官本位國家，當你處在不同的級別、地位，"I" 也有不同的變化，就象你們英語中的形容詞，有原級、比較級、高級一樣。

比如，你剛來中國，沒有地位，對普通人可以說：我、咱、俺、餘、吾、予、儂、某、咱家、洒家、俺咱、本人、個人、人家、吾儂、我儂。


如果見到老師、長輩和上級，則應該說：區區、僕、鄙、愚、走、鄙人、卑人、敝人、鄙夫、鄙軀、鄙愚、貧身、小子、小可、
在下、末學、小生、不佞、不才、不材、小材、不肖、不孝、
不類、走狗、牛馬走、愚小子、鄙生、貧生、學生、後學、晚生、晚學、後生晚學、予末小子、予小子、餘子。


等到你當了官以後，見到上級和皇帝，則應該說：職、卑職、下官、臣、臣子、小臣、鄙臣、愚臣、奴婢、奴才、小人、老奴、小的、小底。

見到平級，則可以說：愚兄、為兄、小弟、兄弟。

見到下級，則可以說：爺們、老子、大老子、你老子、乃公。

如果你混得好，當上了皇帝或王爺，則可以說：朕、孤、孤王、孤家、寡人、不轂。

如果你不願意當官，只好去當和尚、道士、應該說：貧道、小道、貧僧、貧衲、不慧、小僧、野僧、老衲、老僧。

最後一點必須注意，一旦你退休了，便一下子失去了權利和地位，見人也矮了三分，只好說：老朽、老拙、老夫、愚老、老叟、小老、小老兒、老漢、老可、老軀、老僕、老物、朽人、老我、老骨頭。

老外聽了老師一席話，頓覺冷水澆頭，一個晚上沒有睡好覺。第二天一大早，向老師辭行：學生、愚不材、末學、走。退了房間，訂了機票，回國去了。